What is a defence and how does therapy help?
What is a defence?
A defence is a coping strategy that our minds develop to help us get through life. They are a completely normal and necessary part of human functioning. However, we can experience problems when our defence mechanisms take over, or have too much influence on our experience. Different schools of thought use different terms to refer to defences. You might see them referred to as coping mechanisms, protector parts, fire-fighters, managers, etc.
Why do we have defences?
When we experience thoughts or feelings that are too painful or threatening our minds try to find ways of coping with these feelings in a way that will allow us to continue to function in the short term. This is often done automatically and without conscious effort, and can be an effective way of avoiding immediate emotional distress (read more about the theory of the unconscious mind here). In many situations it is beneficial to be able to cut off our emotional responses. If you are in immediate danger your mind will focus you on getting out of the situation and only later when you feel safe will your mind let your defences down, allow you to feel the emotional impact of the event, and allow you to process what happened. People who have been in life-threatening situations have described being unemotional and able to focus on getting themselves out of the situation. It is later when they are safe at home that their minds allow them to cry and begin processing what had happened to them.
When do defences become problematic?
Hopefully, events like the above are rare in our lives and we will have safe environments to return to in order to process what has happened. However, if our mind repeatedly needs to protect us by using defence mechanisms to avoid our emotions, and we do not have the opportunity to process our emotions, these unprocessed emotions build up unconsciously within us and can cause psychological symptoms: feeling low, anxious, cut-off, stuck, confused. Our psychological defences are there to protect us, literally to defend against emotions and thoughts that are too painful to bear, but over time their protective function limits our ability to understand ourselves, connect to others, and live our lives to the fullest.
Common defence mechanisms
Denial: refusing to acknowledge or accept a painful reality or truth
Projection: attributing our own undesirable thoughts or feelings to someone else
Rationalisation: justifying or excusing one’s behaviour or feelings with seemingly logical reasons
Repression: pushing unwanted or unpleasant memories or thoughts out of conscious awareness
Regression: returning to an earlier, less mature form of behaviour or thinking as a way of coping with stress or anxiety
Sublimation: transforming negative emotions or impulses into socially acceptable behaviours or actions.
Displacement: redirecting unwanted feelings or impulses onto a less threatening target
How does therapy help?
Remember the safe environment that we imagined the person who had been in the life-threatening situation had returned to, and then felt able to (unconsciously) let down their defences and process their emotions? That is what we are trying to create in therapy. It is extremely difficult to recognise your defences on your own. This is because they are part of your unconscious mind - something that you might consider to be “just who you are”. Because these protective defences have become so ingrained, so second nature, and you have relied on them to protect you throughout your life, you don’t want to question them either! My clients often come to me when they have a sense that something is going on that is stopping them living their life to the fullest, but they will be at least partially invested in keeping their defences in place. Of course they are! These defences are what have protected them from unwelcome thoughts and feelings their entire life. I work together with my clients to help them identify their defence mechanisms so that we can gently approach the defences, understand them, and try to create an environment where the defences begin to relax. The client can then begin to feel the emotion they have been avoiding, and begin to process it.
