How to choose a therapist

If you are trying to work out how to choose a therapist, these are the questions I would suggest asking yourself:

Are they qualified and registered with a professional body?

In the UK the terms “counsellor”, “therapist” and “psychotherapist” are not regulated terms in the same way that, for example, “doctor” is. I personally prefer the term therapist, so that is the term I use, but many of my colleagues prefer the term counsellor. It is therefore important to find a counsellor/therapist who has received training from an accredited institution and who is registered with a professional body. Luckily this is easy to do. You can start with a therapy directory such as counselling directory, or a google search of therapists in your area. On their profiles therapists will state which professional body they are a member of. The main professional bodies are the BACP and UKCP. If you are in any doubt you can contact the therapist and ask them which professional body they are registered with, alternatively you can check the registers directly. It is highly unlikely you will find yourself talking to someone who is not affiliated to a professional body, but this nonetheless remains my number one requirement because of the importance of working with someone who has been trained and is bound by an appropriate code of ethics.

Are they able to offer you a session at a time and location that will be feasible in your timetable?

You will be able to find a therapist who has availability at a time that you can make work. It is important that the therapy sessions are sustainable for you and fit around work, childcare, etc. But it is also important to think about where you can be flexible (many workplaces are now much more aware of the importance of mental wellbeing and may be willing to offer flexibility in order to allow you to attend therapy during the working day). Perhaps think about whether you want to see someone face to face or online. Would you like to see someone near where you live? Or perhaps near work or school? 

Can you afford the fee the therapist charges?

What “affordability” means differs from person to person. Standard prices in central London range from around £60 an hour to anything upwards of £150 an hour. However, many therapists offer discounted rates for those on lower incomes or for groups that may find themselves having greater difficulty accessing therapy. For example, I offer discounted rates for online sessions with LGBTQIA+ individuals (or people looking to explore related issues) who have struggled to find an LGBTQIA+ therapist in their area.

What type of therapy do you want?

Choosing between the different types of therapy can feel quite overwhelming, and the names mean very little to anyone who isn’t a professional therapist. Ultimately, I believe that therapy is about finding an environment in which you feel able to explore your inner world, and so finding someone you feel you might “click” with is more important that worrying too much about the specific modality of therapy they trained in. And so, I believe that the next few questions are much more important than worrying too much about selecting the right type of therapy for you.

Do you get a good feeling from their photo/video?

This is how most people choose their therapist! If you look at their photo and think “they look friendly enough”, that’s a good enough starting point to have a look at their website.

Do you get a good feeling from what they write on their website?

You will be able to get a bit of a sense of how the individual therapist works from what they write on their website or profile. Again, as long as you get a sense of “yes, that seems like an approach I would like to take” that is a good enough place to start. 

How do you feel when you first meet them?

Meeting someone for the first time, particularly in a therapeutic setting, can be quite daunting so you might not feel like you know the answer to the question of “do I feel comfortable in this person’s presence?” from one meeting. I would instead ask yourself whether you feel ok enough in their presence, do you feel you could come to trust them, do you feel you might be comfortable to begin opening up with them? If you feel like you don’t click with the therapist that is absolutely fine, you do not have to continue working with them. Some people like to meet with a few therapists before picking one, other people feel happy to carry on with the first therapist they see. There is no right answer here. My recommendation would be that if you feel comfortable enough when you meet a potential therapist, and they meet all the other criteria, then dip your toe in and see how it goes.

I wish you all the best in starting therapy - it can be daunting but can also be the most rewarding thing you ever do.